Anjalee

My name is Anjalee. Pronounced somewhere between AHN-JA-LEE and UN-JA-LEE. With the emphasis on the first syllable, like Dorothy. In India, the English way to spell my name is Anjali. My mother gave me an 'ee' ending because it would be easier for Americans to wrap their mouths around. I have always missed the 'i' ending. I felt like the 'ee' was trashy, not classically beautiful like the original 'i' ending. Being a first generation South Asian American, I was always trying to fit in with either my American community or my Indian community. Growing up, I was mostly unsuccessful at both. Many non-Indian people who see my name on credit cards tell me they think it's beautiful. Many Indian immigrants I meet give me the tight smile when they see how my name is spelled. Some well meaning American friends misspell my name on purpose thinking they are being culturally sensitive. In India they correct me in stores and family gatherings. 'The spelling is just wrong' they say which pisses off my mom to no end. 'Who says?' She defends aggressively. I had an American boyfriend once who couldn't pronounce my name so he just called me Angel. My Indian ex-husband agreed two 'ee's was an ugly spelling. My American father-in-law called me Angelina every time he saw me before he passed away. I also grew up during the time that popular drug store perfume Enjoli came out. My grade school experience was being labeled a cootie girl and people not wanting to touch me but then would sing the perfume song to torture me. 'I can bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan - never never let you forget you're a man, cause I'm a woooooman - Enjoli.' That was a nightmare. By the time I got to middle school I changed my name to Angie and kept that name all the way until graduation. When I got to college, I changed it back. By then I wanted to explore what it meant to own who I actually was again. Extra 'ee's and all. Anjalee and Anjali both mean giving. Giving with both hands to be specific. I like that meaning. The meaning of my maiden surname meant warrior so back then I was the Giving Warrior. The surname I have now means builder. So now my name means the Giving Builder. I gave my daughter the name Ketaki and I left the 'i' ending for her. Pronounced KAY-TA-KEY. With the emphasis on the first syllable, like Lovely. Americans mispronounce it all the time. My mom gives me the 'I told you so look' when I tell her this. My daughter, now 10, does not go by that name in school because her friends and teachers can't say it right. She goes by Kiya (pronounced KEY-AH). They mispronounce that too.

-Anjalee, Winfield, PA, USA